


Mutton Stew

by Elsajeni



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Brotherly Arguing, Community: hobbit_kink, M/M, Nori's reputation as a thief may be slightly exaggerated, Sheep, Theft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-07
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-31 19:04:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsajeni/pseuds/Elsajeni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nori groans, ties the end of his makeshift halter to the stile so that his one chosen sheep can’t wander off, and gives the nearest member of the flock a hard shove. “Bugger <em>off</em>, I said. Go and... look, over there, there’s <em>delicious</em> grass, go and eat that and leave me alone.”</p>
<p>"Going well, is it?" a voice calls from the other side of the hedge; Nori startles, hits the sheep rather harder than he meant to, knocks it into another sheep, and turns around amid a sea of offended bleating to see Dwalin just on the other side of the stile, leaning on one of his long axes and smirking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mutton Stew

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/8973.html?thread=19483149#t19483149) on hobbit_kink:
>
>> The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. - http://coolfunnyquotes.com
>> 
>> Nori learns the hard way...

They are only two weeks out from Bree, and already Nori is chafing at the constant companionship.

It’s not even that he dislikes the rest of the Company, not really. It’s true that Dwalin doesn’t seem to quite approve of his presence, and of course Dori is getting on his nerves — that seems to be Dori’s purpose in life — but the rest of them are friendly enough. And honestly, even if they weren’t, seeing Ori again would more than make up for it. But he has spent nearly two decades traveling — away from Ered Luin, never meeting other dwarves, only rarely meeting anyone at all — and he has rather grown accustomed to his solitude.

Accustomed, in fact — much as he cringes at the thought of it; it sounds like something Dori would say — to his peace and quiet.

Today has been particularly aggravating. He began the day riding at the rear of the Company, and was promptly slapped in the face by a wet, leafy branch that Dwalin, _purely by coincidence_ he’s sure, let go of a bit too early; that put him in a foul mood, so that, when they stopped briefly at midday, he picked a fight with Dori for no good reason and they shouted at each other until Ori, without a word, got up and went to sit with the halfling instead; and now, for most of the afternoon, Thorin’s two nephews have been riding close behind him and chattering incessantly. He is more than ready for a bit of solitude; little wonder, then, that when they finally stop to make camp, he’s the first one off his pony, stalking off toward the southeast with the announcement, “I’m going foraging.”

"I hope he forages up some meat," he hears Kili grumbling behind him as he goes. "A rabbit or two, at least. I’ve had shit luck all day — haven’t even shot a bloody squirrel."

_Maybe if you’d shut up for thirty seconds at a stretch_ , Nori thinks sourly, and then he crests a small hill and, the Company out of sight behind him, finally feels his shoulders relax.

He walks for a while, finding nothing particularly interesting: hills and meadows, and the occasional copse of trees, and not much more than that. Eventually he comes to a hedge — a bit of a surprise, but then, they’re not that far from the Mannish towns; of course there’d be a farm here and there — and stands on tiptoe to look over it, and finds himself nearly face to face with a sheep.

It’s _eyeballing_ him. He glares back, not willing to be outdone by what is, after all, merely a walking mutton dinner.

Mutton dinner — there’s a thought. If Kili’s complaint about his day’s hunting is anything to go by, it’s likely to be another night of salt pork or no meat at all; turning up with an obviously-stolen sheep may not improve his standing with Dori or Dwalin, but at least it’ll give them something to put in the stew.

"Right," he mutters, and glances around. "Must be a stile around here somewhere…"

* * *

"Bugger off."

The sheep surrounding him do not obey.

Nori groans, ties the end of his makeshift halter to the stile so that his one chosen sheep can’t wander off, and gives the nearest member of the flock a hard shove. “Bugger _off_ , I said. Go and... look, over there, there’s _delicious_ grass, go and eat that and leave me alone.”

"Going well, is it?" a voice calls from the other side of the hedge; Nori startles, hits the sheep rather harder than he meant to, knocks it into another sheep, and turns around amid a sea of offended bleating to see Dwalin just on the other side of the stile, leaning on one of his long axes and smirking.

"You bugger off, too," Nori snaps, throwing caution to the wind. "Or come and help. These bloody creatures—"

"They’re flocking animals," Dwalin says, his crooked smile growing wider. "They follow a leader. How did you think you were going to get that one over the stile, anyway?"

"I was going to work that bit out when I came to it," Nori grumbles. "Why, you have a better idea?"

Dwalin doesn’t even bother to answer; he just steps up onto the stile, unties the sheep, grabs it around the chest and hoists it up, over, and out. “Come on, then,” he says after a moment, when Nori only stands and stares instead of following. “Back to camp. Apparently there’ll be mutton stew for supper.”

Nori jerks his gaze away from the muscle of Dwalin’s shoulder. “Right,” he says, a little too loud and a little too quick. “Mutton stew. Of course.”

* * *

They stop about halfway back to camp and slaughter the sheep, at Dwalin's insistence; he's evidently not so straight-laced as Nori first thought, but still balks at the idea of walking a live, obviously-stolen sheep into camp in front of Thorin.

"You're carrying it, then," Nori says firmly; Dwalin only laughs and says, "I should think so — I'd like to see you try it!" before swinging the carcass up and over his shoulders, and once again, Nori has to take a moment to gather himself, closing his eyes to keep from staring.

They're welcomed back into camp with great enthusiasm, especially by Bombur and the halfling, who have evidently been commiserating over the difficulty of making a proper traveling stew with no meat to speak of; the two of them haul the carcass off and begin the work of butchering it, and Nori turns, grinning, only to find himself face-to-face with his elder brother.

Dori looks rather less pleased about the promise of mutton for supper than the rest of the Company. Hurriedly, Nori wipes the smile off his face and says, in as innocent a tone as he can manage, "Something wrong?"

"A sheep," Dori says flatly, folding his arms across his chest. "You’ve brought back a sheep. Which, I’m sure, simply mysteriously appeared in front of you, with a sign hung around its neck saying ‘I belong to no one and am free for the taking.’"

"Don’t be absurd," Nori answers. "It happens that — well, you see, there was—" _Bugger, bugger, bugger, why didn't I anticipate this?_

"It was a wolf," Dwalin puts in, suddenly looming his way into the conversation; _Mind your own business_ , Nori wants to say, but he bites his tongue. “Lucky timing, really — I missed most of it, but I suppose Nori must have stumbled on the flock just as it was attacking. Lucky for the sheep, I mean, that he came along to drive the beast off.”

Nori blinks, and then says, “Yes! Very lucky indeed. Pity it was too late for this one, though.”

Dori doesn’t look entirely convinced; he does nod, though, and say, “If you vouch for him, Master Dwalin, I suppose it must be true,” before stalking off to see how the stew is getting on.

"So," Dwalin says, very quiet, into Nori’s ear. "You’re a rubbish sheep-thief, and a worse liar. Is the rest of your reputation as highly exaggerated, I wonder?"

"Why don’t you visit my bedroll tonight and find out?" Nori shoots back, and his sharp-toothed grin says, _I dare you_.


End file.
